“Unrequited love … for mom”

I am 40 years old, my mother is 70, and it seems to me that she does not love me. Or loves somewhere deep in the shower, very deep. It is so important for me that my feeling is mutual. And I must feel a response to my love. In general, “Game of one Gate” is not for me. I am married, there are children, I madly love my family, all relatives and friends, love my friends, and it’s all mutual, I feel. I love my mother, but from her I do not feel reciprocity, warmth, complicity. Attempts to openly talk on this topic end her and my tears. I don’t know what to do. I understand that all our problems come from childhood. But so far it is not possible to get to the bottom of the true reason. I will be grateful for your advice.

Vasilena, 40 years old

Vasilien, you write about how offensive to you is that you do not feel love from your mother. You are already an adult, a person who has taken place with your life and family, but children’s hopes and lack of love are wounded even in adulthood.

I don’t think your mother doesn’t love you. Perhaps she does not love you the way you would like it. You seem to live in the hope that it will become warmer, understanding, supporting. Staging on a real, other mother, you experience terrible pain and disappointment again and again.

If you discard these hopes, remember what your mother can

do good for you. Perhaps she can not always support emotionally, but helps with children or physically in the house. You write that you can frankly talk to her about this lack of love and then it becomes easier for you, you can cry about it together. This, it seems to me, is a bringing moment.

It is quite difficult for us to accept our relatives as they are, with their minuses and shortcomings. With all the insults that they caused us. But maybe love for mom will help to cope with this, and it will not hurt you so much.

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